_fairyland_
4/30/2006 10:40:00 PM
Friday, April 21, 2006
mid year is starting next week,next monday.to be honest,i am really afraid but i do not know excatly what i am afraid of. x/
went home immediately after school today... xP
then i went je lib to meet the others to study.heex.it feels better to study when wearing home clothes. xD well...we stayed until 7.30 then went to eat dinner and we sat in the foodcourt and chatted until 10pm.lolx.the topics that were brought up were very interesting and made me think.[the topics were some causual stuff about what we want in the future...like where we want to go for our honeymoon!hahaha] i suppose i have not felt so relaxed for the past few weeks.thank goodness. x)
"i think it is impossible for someone to get married with their current boyfriend/girlfriend.we are still young.it is very difficult to make the relationship last for so long,until our mid 20s and get married.of course,you will hope that the relationship can last,but there is the huge possibility that you two will break up.hence,it is better to recognise the reality than persuading/lying to yourself that both of you will last,that the both of you will walk down the road together forever..."
"if it is this way,then why do you get into a relationship?for fun?for experience?if you are in a relationship and you really like your girlfriend/boyfriend,you will believe in the love you two share.thus,you will want the relationship to work out.then you will take good care of the relationship and do not let anything come in between and cause break up.if there is no break up,you and your girlfriend/boyfriend can surely get married..."
perhaps both are right in their own way...? x)
_fairyland_
4/21/2006 11:25:00 PM
Friday, April 14, 2006
whenever people tallk to me about studies.i will get depressed...that happened last night and tonight.i get so depressed that i can almost cry immediately.i really do not know why i react that way.i am puzzled. x( how come my days are ending so sadly recently?why? x'(
frustrated.pressured.
look beyond the sadness and tears; i failed to do so.
smile; i am trying.
_fairyland_
4/14/2006 10:23:00 PM
Thursday, April 13, 2006
i realised that it has been almost been 1 month since i last updated but it did not seem so long ago.well, this is how fast time can pass... x(
this 1 month...
+ sleep over at my house during march holiday
+ lessons and homework
+ tt competition
+ end of rvtt for me
+ napfa test
...these are as much as i can remember x)
i will not be attending training sessions anymore. felt sad on the last training session. x( when will we (rvtt girls) come together and train again?hmmx.i will miss the time spent together during cca.oh man...really love my rvtt mates so much. xD
i finished napfa test today.last 1 in rv and perhaps the worst.oh well...silver... x/
haix.studies...i really do not know what else i can say or do to myself to push myself,to motivate myself anymore.i am afraid that i may just give up...why am i so useless?haix. just feel very apologetic towards those who believe in me,even though i disappoint them over and over again...perhaps all these sound so cliche and dumb but...oh well. x/ what is WRONG with me???argh. x(
sometimes i hope that my parents can be stricter and do not treat me so well...i feel very contented with what i have now then somehow that make me less motivated or determined to improve or move up because i know i can always fall back on my family...it is very wrong!!!haix.how wrong can my mindset get??? x( haix.haix.haix.haix!
i do not put the blame on them!never!
only 1 word to describe me : utter disappointment
haix. going through so many emotions now. x(
mama's birthday coming in 3 days time...i have not got her a present.haiya. x(
i am a auditory learner.i am a literal thinker.i am a influencing person. xD
_fairyland_
4/13/2006 09:21:00 PM
