let_go; embrace ]]

Saturday, January 28, 2006

oh well...!wad did my actions show?completely duno hw i feelin nw.oh man...

-are things so easy to forget?
-us?its nt easy to forget.but stil hav to let go wad cos no choice.i kipin it.but din let it out.din tell others.
-will u stil tink of e past?
-i wun wanna tink abt it.make me sadder.
-but is nt u purposely tink de,it juz comes to ur mind.
-ya.have...

its over le.i noe.i accept it.i kinda want it tis way.but its e "cant bear" tat is hauntin me.
its abt a her nw.no me.its okae.i feel okae.happi perhaps.2 years plus...juz lidat...5 mths...gone.perhaps it wasn't even deep in e 1st place. x)

_fairyland_
1/28/2006 10:42:00 PM

seriously,i dun feel happi tis CNY.so diff frm e previous CNYs.why...i m nt even anticipatin CNY.hw bad can it get? x/

Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

1. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
2. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
4. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
5. You mean the world to someone.
6. You are special and unique.
7. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

are they true?or at least r some of dem true?hmmm.lol.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

last part...true?

i will try to reali perk myself up.i wan to.i nid to. (x

_fairyland_
1/28/2006 10:14:00 PM

Friday, January 27, 2006

hmm.had many tots and feelings tat i wanted to pen down here...BUT my com was sent for reformatin soi cld nt update.sian...nw i cant recall wad excatly i wanna write n hw i felt.hmmmx. x/ oh well...so i shant write abt those stuff. x)

today had early dismissal due to cny celebrations.nt all schs had early dismissal loh...heex. xP but my day started off badly. x( i was feelin unwell...lack of slp+super hungry+gastric/pain 4 no reason=unwell...sian lor. x/ so i wasnt enthu during celebrations at all...blehx.lolx.den i felt beta ltr part in e day. xD
it started off badly.it ended off great. (:

actually was supposed to hav 6j'02 gathering at orchard.but everyone nt goin...except me n anth fren.oh well.den we decided to cancel it.sadded...!veri long nv meet le,wanna catch up de lor. x( haix...wad to do.blehx...

hmm.seein their behaviour,i was reminded of myself;my past...nt a nice feeling. x/ suddenly juz felt so redundant lor.oh well... x) hahaha.lame.

_fairyland_
1/27/2006 11:20:00 PM

Sunday, January 22, 2006

cny is on nxt wk but ppl dun seem so excited abt it anymore...why?hmmx.
perhaps i whld hav been more excited abt cny but sumthing juz kinda kip me back frm enjoyin. x/
i noe all of us miss him.but no 1 is speakin abt it,for fear of upsettin e others.i noe we hav to move on,n some of us hav.but i stil misses e time when he was arnd us,for me,it had been 15+ years.it's stil kinda hard for me...
tis yr's cny will b diff.dere will b 1 less pair of chopsticks n bowl at e reunion dinner.mum does nt nid to buy clothes for him.i will nt get to see him sittin on e couch.i will nt get to say greetings to him.i wun b able to call him.i wun b able to smile at him.
r u watchin us frm where u r?

i feel like tellin dem hw much i miss him but i m scared of makin dem sad as well. x(

_fairyland_
1/22/2006 11:25:00 AM

Friday, January 20, 2006

hmmx.today marks e end of anth sch wk.feelin rather lethargic tis few days.i wonder hw cum i feel lidat...hmmx.

hmmx.where do i stand among dem all?perhaps i m at e bttom?i reali tink so...or mayb is i hav too little confidence in myself?i duno.i reali dun... x/ gotta hav faith?hmmx...

i seem to b veri confused.nt sure of myself and my feelings.seriously feel like a failure...oh well,i feel real downcast nw.

once dere is e prob,it will alw b arnd...unless it is solved n get rid off. x/

i m tryin to b veri careful while handlin tis relationship.deep dwn,do i or do i not?i hav been askin myself repeatedly but i dun get a constant ans tat i nid...ahhh.i hav to tink for other ppl.i cant b selfish n take things slowly...but...i cant seem to get e ans i wan.sry for draggin.thx for stayin.

i will nv wanna hurt anth person. x)

complicated

_fairyland_
1/20/2006 09:05:00 PM

Sunday, January 15, 2006

:D

juz nw wen to rv's 50th annivesary concert...or shld i say i wen dere ytd...?lolx.enjoyed myself alot!hahaha.

tes,ken n xw came my hse 1st in e morning...den we met wz n xr at orchard.we spotted many handsome/cute guys.lolx.den realised tat ken n i r quite similar in our taste?hmmx...haha...
today was oso a interestin day...~~3 of us saw 3 ppl coincidentally.~~hmmx...

fate?

i seem to b similar to many ppl...a few points frm each person.lolx.so m i a combination of a few ppl?hmm....lolx.

thankkew kwan kwan lao gong for e rose!love it! :D

my heartbeat seemed to hav increased a little.i care abt the presence.wad do these mean? x/

_fairyland_
1/15/2006 12:47:00 AM

Friday, January 13, 2006

veri disappointed wif myself again!!! x( i played ~~badly~~.haix.super duper ~~badly~~.damn it.ahhh.i was super pissed wif myself.i had the black face lor.lolx...den i kinda injured my right ankle...its like both of my legs r injured.wth. x/

it seems like everything i do,i suck in them.regardless studies,cca n wadeva...so...i m feelin sooo angry wif myself!!! x( everything juz seem pointless and hopeless...haix.wth.

BUT...tmr is RV's 50th anniversary concert...so i m gonna b hyper n happi n enjoy myself tmr wif frens!aftall,tmr's concert will b my last as a RVian...hahahaha. x)

haix.i wan coincidence.

_fairyland_
1/13/2006 09:11:00 PM

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

these few days hav been raining...like e rain's supply is nv ending. -.- hmmx...but i stil luv e rain though :) lolx.m i makin sense here?i duno...
its like i hav so many things i wanna accomplish.i hav so many thoughts and i wanna make dem work out rite.but...i cant seem to get any of those done...the feeling is so...frustrated?disappointing? x/
gotta believe in myself.i m able to accomplish e things and i can make dem work out rite.i hav to believe n juz keep strivin. (:

can i?

_fairyland_
1/10/2006 08:29:00 AM

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's...
Love

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted...

_fairyland_
1/07/2006 10:37:00 PM

Friday, January 06, 2006

wow!veri fast...the 1st wk of sch has juz ended...tis whole wk,kinda all play...gotta enjoy nw cos aft tis wk,everything wil b veri hiong le.bleh x/ hahaha.

wanted to type a complete entry but aft tokin to ppl on msn...i changed my mind...haha. xD nt cos of negative things loh... xD

spoke to him.he initiated e tok.he asked me to find sum1 beta.duh...i oso noe tat.he said he nt my type and tat he is uncaring.wad's e pt of sayin all these nw?lolx.a fren agree wif me tat he tink too fully of himself!hahahaha.all i felt was pissed n no other feelings...wad a great thing. (: hahaha.den he said he got a gf le...hmm. abit taken aback tat he actually managed to get 1...hahaha.but i din felt sad or anything like tat...hahahaha.perhaps he was tryin to make me jealous...but it did nt work.lol. xP oh well...nw...he lead his life..i lead mine...i m leadin a happi life.lolx :D

_fairyland_
1/06/2006 08:45:00 PM

Sunday, January 01, 2006

i shall start frm my stay at e chalet n countdown. (: hmmx...chalet was fun esp when maria,kwan n val came to join me.we had so much fun! :D den countdown...we were veri high.esp me!hahahaha.1st time countdown at a proper countdown "party"...veri nice!heex.den aft countin down to 2006,we stayed for an hr plus to dance...seriously,we reali enjoyed ourselves alot loh!!! xD hmmx...den aft countdown,i finally noticed hw tired my body was...aft 2e chalet,training to family's chalet...esp when i had veri little slp... x/ my mind was way out of sense.lolx.damn funni loh...when maria,val,kwan n i were on e mattress in e chalet aft returnin frm e countdown party,i juz spoke crap to dem.absolute rubbish tat made no sense AT ALL!hahahaha.den dey were stunned by me. xP lol.den today,cos i was veri tired...i juz slack in e chalet,din go anywhere.lol. xD

31/12/05...the case was closed.at least tat was e msg conveyed to me...is it true tat e someone will b waiting?i duno.m i suppose to say it out when one day i realised i actually hav feelings?i tink i shld nt tink so much nw...yeah? x/

2006.new year.sec 4.impt year.i hav to reach my goals.i will strive towards them.i will lead a happi life.i will not let anyone or anything bad get into my way.i m strong.yeah! :)
HAPPI NEW YEAR.ALL E BEST TO ALL :D

_fairyland_
1/01/2006 10:22:00 PM