February 2005'March 2005'April 2005'May 2005'June 2005'July 2005'August 2005'September 2005'October 2005'November 2005'December 2005'January 2006'February 2006'March 2006'April 2006'May 2006'June 2006'July 2006'November 2006'
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12/30/2005 08:51:00 PM
recieved some more x'mas presents today.thankkew ppl! :D hmmx...kwan kwan gave mi e cd i wanted.wow!i was surprised when i unwrapped e present lor...din expected tat.veri happi.heex!tink i m gonna fall in luv wif her.LOL.cos she's such a nice ger la!!!everyone onli has praises for her loh.hahahaha.kwan kwan,r u touched by me?lolx.I M NUTS.today had alot of fun...esp when i was walkin in e rain.i love rain!lalalala. xP
was eating lunch den u walked past.u saw me den u quickly turned away.u din wan to see me?nt even a hi to me?den u walked hurriedly away n crossed e road.dere i was,lookin at ur back...for e 1st time in a long while,i saw u.but onli ur back.why?why din u bothered to stop n say a hi?hmmx.r we like strangers nw?i duno.i dowan to b strangers,but wad abt u?oh well...lolx.but i dun reali feel anything le...gd news?hahaha. xP is tis coincidence?
it started cos of fate n it ended cos of fate.it was a full circle.i suppose dere's nth more i can ask for.
12/27/2005 09:41:00 PM
hmmx.happi boxing day.tusnami one anniversary... x/ lolx.
tis year's x'mas is 1 of e worst.nth much happened n cos nth much happened so tis is 1 of e worst...din reali had alot of fun.din reali had alot of laughter.oh well...disappointed wif tis year's x'mas! x( i wan my x'mas back!!!my beautiful x'mas.the x'mas full of hope,wishes,laughter...i wan it back!hmmx.perhaps i shld juz look forward to nxt year's x'mas. x)
suddenly msg me.suddenly say tat kind of things to me.when e words r already half way out of ur mouth,u swallowed them back n left me hangin...i wanna noe.but u decided nt to say.hw cruel can u get?alw leave me hangin...i dun like.i hate it!hmmx.e feeling is nt so bad nw le ba.e time tat has passed hav made me learnt...i learnt to nt let ur words carry alot of weight.i learnt to go easy on myself.i learnt to nt feel hurt cos of u.i learnt to leave u behind slowly.i learnt to look forward to a more beautiful life.n i m gonna embrace my life,a life wifout u.thx for lettin me learn.mayb i wun b able to forget so quickly but i will forget slowly n one day,when ur name is mentioned,i will feel nth...feel like tellin u all these but on 2nd tots,i shall nt.why waste my time n effort tellin u all these?u r nt worth it. :D
juz finished watchin a korean drama.i saw abit of myself in it.so i juz wanna pen some tots aft watching e drama...no special meaning though.hee. xD
--used to even hear ur heartbeat.the dist was so close.nw,we r so far apart,like 2 strangers.i reali duno y things can change so fast n so drastically.why?
--ppl arnd u will say "juz call"...everything seemed so easy.but when u r in e position whether to call or nt,its hard.u juz cant bring urself to make e call which seemed so easy to others...
--the person who can bring u much happiness is oso e one who can bring u much heartache n misery.
well...my x'mas tis year is rather sorrowful yeah?mayb i sound sorrowful...but i dun feel sorrow ba. :D
12/26/2005 11:30:00 AM
today is x'mas eve's eve!
haha.today is e last training of e wk!yeah.finally can let myself rest le.heex.den aft training ended,i was so high!laughed n laughed den wished everyone merry x'mas n a happi new year.LOL :D
well...i noticed smth abt coach!he ALW laugh at me!!!initially,i tot i tink too much...den today,val told me she realised tat he laugh at me too.haha.whenever he trains me,he WILL laugh at me.den when he trains val,he veri serious. x/ i reali wonder wad's his prob lor.haha.m i so comical???do i look funni???is it i too lousy tat he cant b bothered to b serious wif me???feel like askin him why he kepp laughin at me.lolx.hmmx...weird weird weird! xP hahahaha.
hmmx.today got class outing-eat steamboat.well,i nt free la rite.den cant go.blehx. x/
read a fren's blog.well,one part in her n3 reminded me of myself la.haix...i was oso being ignored.my smses did nt receive replies.i wanted him back too,as a fren.but i supposed he did nt wan to b my fren.i was sad,real sad.i cried.but nth cld change e fact...so i forced myself to move on,to forget e person who brought me much pain.i duno if i had succeeded. x/ hmmx...writing tis nw,is bringin all e feelings back.oh well.haha.
12/23/2005 07:31:00 PM
hmm.i dun understand everything.i dun get it...some things can reali change alot in a short period of time.or rather,some things can reali change alot because of some incidents...den dey can never be like before.den its like everything becomes awkward...I DUN LIKE TIS! x( i stil wan everything like before...nice,fun and happi.i miss e past.a lot.pls...bring everything back...my dear fren.i miss u.
dad's overseas...he wun b arnd for x'mas.hmmx.it will be weird wifout him. x( he's e
man...den he nt arnd.haix...miss him u noe... x/ hmmx.nvm.kinda used to it.lolx.
hmmx.seems like i miss many ppl.haha! xP
settled all e x'mas presents! x)
12/21/2005 10:19:00 PM
today had training again.we had a diff coach...nt veri nice. x/ but e few of us had a lot of fun.we were runnin to hit e ball.tink we burnt some fats...lolx. xD
finally finished wrappin all e x'mas presents.lalala...hope those who r gonna receive my presents will like dem... x/ i got a bad feelin tat some r nt gonna like dem.hmmx...oh well.
i m doin well.i m doin fine.i will alw stand up aft i fall.but dun make me fall too many times...cos it hurts everytime. x/
LOL. x) i wan everything to work out fine!heex
12/20/2005 10:39:00 PM
hmmx.second entry of the night...
well,tonite nt veri nice la rite. sob x( i noe wad i m doin.so juz let me be.pls...okae?haix. sometimes when you get reali tired, you can do extreme things. and i dowan to do tat. SO JUZ LEAVE ME ALONE. I HAD ENUFF LE.PLS LA :'(hw i yearn for a shoulder now. i juz wanna cry everything out. i reali wan to.i hav kept the feelings within me long enuff.haix.
hmmx.i suddenly realise tat the feeling of tokin to a fren is so gd.veri long nv tok le...den nw tok...veri nice.hmmx.bring some smile to my face full of sadness... x)
12/19/2005 10:03:00 PM
these few days...nth much goin on ba.boring. x/
today had training at sunsports club.its rather remoted loh.like a club out of nowhere.lol.no 1 goes dere either.haha. xP e place was damn stuffy!everyone was perspiring like siao.haha.e venue is veri diff frm bt timah cc la...so everyone nt used to it.lolx. x) den hav new coach for B div gers...nice guy.veri young for a coach.he is onli 21.haha.he is veri patient oso. xD
hmmx.i reali wonder.......r we veri nt bonded?r we reali veri bad examples?r we so lousy?
dere seem to b a wall between us.i dun like it.hw i wish we can b comfortable arnd each other n hav fun together...i reali wan.we r frens.
i nid to settle everything by x'ams eve!i must n hopefully will!bleh. x/
12/19/2005 08:24:00 PM
u juz irritate me so so so so much sometimes n i juz wan u to buzz off!damn.leave me alone nw!u duno y i chose to do things e way i did cos u r nt me.so dun judge wad i do base on ur own opinions n tots.shit
wen to do hmwork wif kwan...but i overslept tis morning!i onli woke up when she called my hse which was veri long aft e time we were supposed to meet. x/ felt so bad.but she din blame me.aiyo...she veri nice rite?heex. xD here's to qn to all...y dun we use white paint to liquid off e words we want instead of liquid paper?white paint is less harmful than liquid paper...hmmx [kwan raised tis qn] xP
feel free to let me noe e ans...i wanna noe.hahaha!
12/15/2005 10:51:00 PM
:D haha!my mood is so gd nw.lolx.
went for dinner n shoppin wif mum aft she ended work...we spent alot of money today.ha.we juz bought everything we had our eyes on.lolx.wonder wad's got into my mum...ha.we bought things for dad,my mum herself n of cos me loh.lolx.it was alot of fun juz tokin to my mum along e entire shoppin too :) i enjoy her company alot.lolx.hahaha...
hmmx.i was rather downcast last nite...but i suppose e feelings,everything were juz a spur of e moment...aft tat,i was fine le.ha!weird rite?!lolx.i even totally forgot abt e whole thing...esp today.heex.
lalalalala.i will follow my way!
x)
12/14/2005 10:35:00 PM
went to cinema to catch "pride and prejudice".its nt bad.but i found it abit draggy.n i came to a conclusion...ppl of tat time were rather conservative.they onli kiss aft they got married.LOL.hmmx.it is juz a personl tot. x)
ahh.i duno.i duno if i m headin in e rite direction.i duno if i m rite in leadin on... x/
i realised tat i took things for granted in e pasti miss euu.but is it euuu i miss or e care n attention i had?i m supposed to move on n i hav.but sumtimes,i feel like goin back.but dere r oso times i feel tat i m doin e rite thing n i'll nv go back.the contradictin feelings r makin my life sad.
12/13/2005 10:20:00 PM
heyy!!!so so happi today!enjoyed myself.had alot of laughter.did nt think of anything sad...ha!
kwan,maria n i wen to city hall...walked at suntec n marina square.we watch perhaps love at suntec...[the jap prince maria mentioned in her tagg was jin1 cheng2 wu3] ha!the movie was rather nice esp the songs.heex :) den we wen to e korean theme cafe at marina square...kwan n i drank coffee n maria ate her half priced waffle.haha.dere had free access of internet so we were taggin at each other's blog.lolx.watched korean mtv dere too.we realised tat korean mtv r rather saddistic.blood n death...ewww.lolx...
smth i learnt frm the movie,perhaps love :the person who love you most is yourself. is it true?
maria flyin off at 11.59 ltr...haha.she is off to america n stoppin by at japan b4 cumin back.envy rite?!haha.i asked her to look out a bag for me...since i cant get to find the rite one in s'pore.ha!as for kwan...she went for kickboxin at nite.fun lar...!asked her to teach me.heex. :)
anyway...ppl called us to ask where was e tt chalet for other ppl.so tat means dere r many ppl who duno...?ha.i oso duno... x/
well.i did it!i msg...got an reply.but e attitude sucks la...so hostile towards me...den e contents of e msgs were so unfriendly.as if i did smth wrong to e freak...it wasn't me who did wrong. xP n i let off smth i had been wanting to say.perhaps it was wrong to say but i din wanna kip within me.so i got it off my chest...din even wanna consider abt e opp party's reactions.haha. xP so nw i m so fine!i m in a gleeful mood :) i was oso worryin if i wld spoil e day for myself...but pleasantly,i din spoil e day for myself!i din even tink abt it la.so i tink all these show tat i m already so over it all...feel so pleased wif myself.heex! =D
tink i will end tis year on a nice note...definitely hopin so! :)
12/12/2005 08:22:00 PM
well...i did some minor changes to my blog :)
so lookin forward to tmr!heex.goin out wif ppl.tink we will tok alot?n laugh alot?haha.tat's wad i wan la... xD
tmr is oso a nt so nice day for me...hmmx.hw will i feel tmr?lolx.wad shld i do?hmmx.oh well...ha!dun tink so much larr...
i m in a happi mood!heex :)
12/11/2005 04:26:00 PM
went to mum's fren's hse today...had a small gatherin for e 3 frens...my mum n 2 other gers...i noe dem for a long time le.heex.so it was veri fun...e hse tat we went to...e owner gave birth to a baby boy a few mths back.den saw e baby again today.anderz veri cute.his eyes look so alike to his dad.haha...carried e baby,played wif him n i took pic wif him.anderz veri ke ai!!! :) den my mum n her frens chatted,well i joined in too la.haha.had alot of fun tokin...
so...finally...life is back into my life...!haha.nxt wk fun...but muz oso clear hmwork asap.ha! xD
had alot of fun tokin to ppl last nite on msn...well...chatted e lastest til 2plus tis morning.haha.recently,had quite many conversations wif ppl on msn which were veri fun and enjoyable...heex.
well...was tryin to install a programme into com so tat i can connect hp wif e com...ahh...i try to install until quite frustrated.lolx.den decided to try again anth day...haha... x/ hope i can get it done asap!i wanna upload pics n songs...!!!lolx. x/
12/10/2005 10:10:00 PM
ha!it seems like i m bloggin veri other day...lolx.tis shows hw bored life is...ha!
frm tmr onwards,my life is gonna b more fun!finally!haha.anticipating... :)
mon is a scary day.i wonder hw m i gonna feel on tat day.lolx.luckily,i hav programme on to occupy my time n mind.heex.
12/09/2005 10:37:00 AM
hmx.second entry of e day...nt even half hr frm e previous entry of e day...LOL...
seriusly veri bored at hm again.i did nt go out tis whole wk.no mood to go out...yet i m complaining of being bored at hm...diaox...i m nt motivated to finish up e leftover hmwork...how???lolx.its like i m laggin n laggin...purpose-less life at hm... x((
i was lookin at blogs of some ppl...i was hopin to see any tiniest news of euu in those blogs...i duno y...i noe i m behavin like a dumb ass.but i juz did it...pissed wif myself la huh...
12/08/2005 11:29:00 AM
ytd mum came hm earlier cos seminar ended earlier.heex.den we went salon...i went to trim my hair.hmmx.nw veri difficult to tie le.suan le,dun tie.lolx. :)
many ppl out of s'pore...go overseas...hmmx.reali do miss ppl...my frens.hmmx. x)
my mum is a veri gd person.can say i admire her n she is definitely a gd role model.she has done alot for us wifout complain.even things tat she nid nt do,she oso did for us,for e family.she nv fails to take gd care of my granny even if we hav probs ourselves.she says tat is responsibility...she will do wadever is needed of her n nt shortchange ppl...well...tokin to her everytime feels veri nice.she will teach me things...n remind me...n learn frm e mistakes she made n make sure i dun commit dem...she understands us n alw encourage us...she is fun to be wif too.i m counting my blessings tat i hav my mum as my mum...heex!
perhaps dere r many mummys like mine...but i stil love my mum alot alot. =D
12/08/2005 10:58:00 AM
hmmx.today stayed hm.yet anth day of boring routine....ahhh.feel so dead.ha!lookin 4ward to nxt wk so much! xD
my family is soo nice n sweet~
love dem all.
ha!on msn...den tok to zhihan...zhihan's bdae today!ha...tokin to him.den veri fun...happi...make my xin qing beta.yeah... =D haha.rare case sia.lolx.happi bdae!
today's nt bad aftall...hope tat i can slp ltr on.fingers crossed x/ haha.
it is stil in my mind.until e day sumone clear everything up.i will nt b free n happier.blehx.
12/06/2005 10:12:00 PM
once again,i m updatin when its late...i seriously hav prob slpin.for nites,i juz cld nt slp peacefully.i will juz lie dwn n cant slp n i wld in e end,use e com.haix.wanna catch up on sum slp?pretty pls?blehx.perhaps my mind is too tangled up wif tots?again...?its like alw...ahhh.
we r veri diff?i duno.i seem to hav 2nd tots but yet anth part of me tink tat we shld go on...ironic
i msg.no reply.y?like wad i said in e msg?u reali hate me?or u cant get ur hands on ur hp?ahh.wad's goin on?i m so freakin bothered.aft i sent e msg,i din on my hp---cos i din wanna face it tat i received no reply.i stil wanna hav e tiniest delusion tat pehaps dere's was a reply but i cant see cos my hp is off...dumb of me rite?well...i was indeed rite,no reply.well,kinda expected so but stil...it feels sour.veri bad.i actually din on my hp for abt 24hrs.i actually did tat.it kinds shows tat hw badly i wanna lie to myself abt e reply.oh my...i cant believe i behaved tat way???!!!like some pathetic ger...nt gd.nt happi.
when den i can free myself of all these?where's my little fairytale where e word "unhappy" does nt exists? :(
12/05/2005 11:26:00 PM
saw e photos of peeps preparing for ms ho's[now mrs goh's] wedding...dey seemed to hav alot of fun.wanna b dere wif dem too...play.but i wasnt.
on second tots,perhaps its gd tat i wasnt dere.i noe y i tink so myself
ahhh...vexing...r we even wad we r said to b?do i reali noe wad i m doin?m i deceiving ppl n myself?wad do i exactly wan?perhaps i shld hav followed e idiotic idea my heart gave me n nt try to follow wad is rite,wad i shld do...?i duno.wanna cry,cry,cry.
12/05/2005 01:11:00 AM
hmmx.like i mentioned in e earlier n3 of today...i m so veri bored.ahhh.budden at least got ppl at hm to accompany me la...
i was lookin at my old entries in e archives since feb.well,somoe stuff i forgot came back to me.its nice to take a look at those past memories sometimes... x) hmmx.i realised smth too...dere's tis particular thing has been existing since stone age.haix.no gd!cos i haven solved tat prob.damn. x(
____`greyish sky
12/03/2005 05:07:00 PM
today is 3/12...supposingly a veri fun-filled n schedule packed day but here i m rottin at hm.damn.
ms ho's wedding today.she invited 3g n 3d...i was reali lookin forward to it cos i love goin to weddings...full of love... =D budden...i cant go la...cos of e death.hmmx.nvm la.its okae...ppl who went to e wedding n happen to see my entry,fill me in on e wedding.kkx?i m sure i missed alot of fun. x( lolx.
i m so bored at hm.ahhh.
lookin forward to my outings wif frens.i wanna hav fun.i wanna laugh.i wanna play.i wanna b happi.yeah... xD
things juz rush back into my mind.these r no gd.no,no,no.oh man... x/
12/03/2005 12:38:00 PM
okae.i had a mixture of feelings today.nt veri gd. x(
1stly,i woke up earlier den i intended to.its like i will alw wake up at tat specific time n i wun b able to catch any more slp aft tat.nt nice!i m tired! x/
nxt...i squeezed fruit juice for myself n cooked my lunch...for a gd 40mins.haha.aft tat,i enjoyed my lunch n drink over a movie. xD felt a sense of achievement tat i cooked a reasonable lunch n a nice fruit juice for myself!heex.happi happi!
ahh,den my nightmare started.or shld it b day-mare?oh well...i went over to my grandma's place cos i was gettin bored at hm.i was initially veri happi tat i will hav my cute lil cousin n sis to accompany me.but i was wrong!my sis got crazy n started scoldin me n hittin me n kickin me wen i juz got dere awhile.i was abused by her???!!!worst of all,she kicked my eye!i saw black n white when she kicked my eye la.damn her.i was soo pissed.but she din stop...she took e bloody remote control n tried to hit me.i blocked wif my hand n in e end,i got a bruise on my hand.arghx!i was so angry la!den i lecture her n kinda taught her a lesson?hmmx.but she is not gonna change her barbarian ways. =X haix...
at nite,visited my grandpa's bro wif family n grandma...he juz had an operation.well,he lived nearby so it was convenient for us...yeah.he was as lively n fun-loving as ever.tat's veri gd! xD haix.i dowan anth one to leave us.one is enuff.or mayb tat one was too much for us,for me.pls.no.i pray so veri hard.sad...
so...my feelings during tis veri day is a mixture...yeah?haha.hmmx. x)
12/02/2005 11:24:00 PM
hmmx.today is a nice day? xD heeeeex
went to orchard wif val today.she wanted to buy jeans for her china trip n so we shopped for it.but b4 tat,we wen to watch "prime"...hmmx.it was veri funni but perhaps nt veri suitable for us,e 2 gers...lolx.abit too much kissin... x/ haha.yupp.den wen lookin for jeans aft tat.val cld nt find e rite one so we kept lookin.den finally jeans at billabong caught her eyes.lolx.she tried a few designs n sizes...den i was like e boyfriend waitin patiently for his gerfren to b done wif her jeans...den help her take bag n give some comments n stuff...HAHA...so fun la...for once,i feel like a carin and patient boyfren.LOLX.funni funni...den we wen lookin 4 my stuff-clothes or bag.well,cld nt find nice bag so i bought a shirt. xD haha.kinda lost track of e time n when i was done wif buyin my shirt,it was 6pm...wen i was suppose to b at wm at 6.30pm?haha.well,i was so damn dead...blehx.den met up wif parents n sister to watch "harry potter".finally!everyone watched it already la den abandone me.luckily my parents n sis wanna catch it too.heex. x) its was nt bad la...aft e movie ended den i ate my dinner...hungry hungry.cos i was late by e time i finished shoppin so decided to skip dinner.lolx.
hmm...den e qn was answered...
let's hope tat i hav made e rite choice for myself
let's hope tat tis will turn out fine
let's hope tat i will b happi wif tis
---11205---
12/01/2005 11:22:00 PM
imagine u r in a hot air balloon tourin e world.suddenly e balloon decrease speed n starts goin downwards cos it is overload.wad will u throw off?
a-camera
b-big clock
c-big suitcase
d-light blub
e-lots of cans
tis test is to see wad prob u r facin nw n wad prob u wanna get rid of asap.
its accurate for all tried so far.includin me!so..u guys can give it a try...den pls tagg ur ans in my tagboard?hee. xD
the ans are....
a-camera-u r troubling abt ur future
b-big clock-troubling abt health probs
c-big suitcase-financial wise got prob
d-light blub-troubling abt family relationships
e-lots of cans-troubling abt e opp gender(relationships)
today competition...well,i sucked.wenling was my 1st opponent.everyone was like duhh..of cos she will win...so i lost 1 game.nxt rnd,i won...den it was shi ning...duhh again...of cos she won...i lost yet anth game n i was out.fine...both of dem was 1st n 2nd la.so its was damn of cos tat i lost.fine.den my flu was horrible durin e whole competition.i even resorted to takin toilet paper to use...lolx.den kwan kwan took some more toilet paper for me.so sweet! xD haha.
tmr is 1st dec!!!hav been lookin to tis very day.it is when i will b reali free!n perhaps things will take a gd turn for me?i definitely hope so!but wad if things r nt as nice as i tink dem to b?aftall,reality is not tat nice... x/ oh well.lolx
hmmx.for e competition...i kinda tot tat if my 1st opponent was someone else,which e standard wld of cos b e same as me,i cld hav won n progress n perhaps i cld hav done soo much beta?!was kinda pissed.mayb u can call me sore loser.but i dun care.cos wad i said is kinda true?oh well.fine.fine.wadeva la... x(
12/01/2005 01:29:00 AM
[me] vanessa.yeo.yan.ting
[journey began] 25.8.90
[present] 4 gotcha
[past] 3 gotcha _ 1/2 extreme _ zps
[passion] rvttrox
` cherish what i have
` believe in myself
` stay strong
` be optimistic
` strive & work hard
` stay happy always
my Life__my Stories__my Words
who am i?